Counseling

We're in the middle of working with a couple who are having a troubled marriage. A lot of bondage issues on both sides. They're from the States, but not on our team. Pelase keep us in your thoughts.

Though this season, it has been brought to my attention how pervasive the american assumption (lie) that happiness (and parenting) is "natural". Therefore, if something is going wrong, you're odd and shoudl keep it to yourself. Such isolation keeps us from love, support, and community. This BLOG is simply an encouragement to those of you who have a troubled relationship or problem facing you,...to seek community and times of honest, humble reflection with others. Relationship death is very natural...just as plants naturally die when left without food or other nutrition. Don't give up meetin together as some are in the habit of doing. Confess your faults to others. There is healing in this process.

Culture Lectures

It's been shockingly suprising to see how much "western philosophy" has led to significant relationships here in China. I have given three American culture lectures this year, two this semester. The first was about the philosophy of Jonathan Edwards. We examined the question of whether humans are born evil or good. Chinese traditions says, good. Edwards said , no. Simple anecdotes have been profound for them as well, when presented to them, challenging some people's views. Recently, I spoke about the contrast in views between "naturalism"--the belief that everything is purely physical, and "supernaturalism"--such as miracles, spirits,...) The effects from these talk have been staggering. These "philosophical" ideas come across as unpractical to many Chinese and unfortunately, many westerners. After some explaining, these students saw how terriblely practical they are. Accordingly, much has arisn from these times.

These Last Days

The end of the semester has become suprisingly fruitful. Please be thinking of us as we have so many opportunities with students who wantto talk with us before we leave for the States.

With so much activity, it's mixed feeling about returning; yet, the familiar faces are going to be welcomed. I almost wrote "familiar food", yet this place has become home, so in some ways, many things here have become moe familiar.

A lot of curious abounds. Our 70+ year-old friends who were sent home by the school will be missed. They leave behind a legacy and many student who we hope will get reconnected with other people. Keep this also in your thoughts.

Selahisms

Here are some recent Selah moments:

STORY 1:A Korean boy in her class is a foreigner too. His first lanaguage is Korean and he scrambles ot learn Chinese, just like Selah. He certainly doesn't know English. However, yesterday Selah announced that the "Korean boy" can speak English. huh? we thought. "He can speak English?" we asked. "Yep", Selah replied. "You heard him speak English?" "Yep." We asked Selah, "What did he say?" He said "OUCH!" I guess some words tranfer into all languages. :)


STORY 2: We were walking on the basketball court tonight for our weekly "Daddy-Selah" date. I aksed her if she had ever seen Daddy played basketball. She said yes. "What did Daddy look like?" I asked. She informed me, "Falling down".... hey, not everyone can be Michael Jordan.


STORY 3: Carrie took oout her braids from the day, afterwhich Selah ran aroundthe house saying, "My hair looks funkadelic!!" laughing the whole way. (She heard it from VeggieTales).

Even water is cultural

the past fews days, we haven't had water regularly. If we have, it's often been only cold water. One morning, I was talking of the "delimma" we faced ,not having is any more (I admit, this might be euphomism for complaining, but I'm not sure. I suspect it is.) Anyway, I said, "we can't even use the bathroom" not expression from my friend. Puzzled, I added, "We can't take showers either!" He was unsymphatic. I realized that most people in the world, including Chinese, might only take a shower once a week, if perhaps even that much. Only westerners have the needy compulsion to shower as much as we do. So, I thought for another moment..."I can't wash my hands!" Immediately shock came across his face. He realized our peril. Now, he sympathized.

In China, hand washing is a HUGE deal. I wish we Americans would do better at this also.

Wanting More

We have a definate book recommendation for those of you who want to learn more about overseas work, but more importantly, want soemthing to challenge you in your character and perspective for living. It's called "Wanting More" by Joel Vestal. It's self published so you can't find it anywhere. Go to his organization's website: www.servlife.org
It's one of the groups we most respect.

Here's a quote that was very relevant to us in our parenting:

I once heard Dr. Tony Campolo relate his experience of asking parents in Japan what they wantd for their children. They responded by saying, "We want our children to be successful." He later asked Italian parents the same question, and they responded, "We want our children to be good." Indian parents want their children to be "noble." When asking Koreans, they say "Diligent." But when he asks American parents what they want for their children, they usually respond with "We want them to be happy and safe."

If we're honest about our desires, we realize that many of us in the West want the"good life" for our children and for ourselves-a life free from all pain, hurt and suffering. However, that sort of life is not reality and no one will ever be able to find it this side of heaven. Just as you can't avoid getting wet if you jump in the ocean, so you cannot live without suffering and pain.

When did our Father ever promise happiness or safety for those who follow Him?

Experiential versus Cognitive Knowledge

We'll rarely accept purely cognitive knowledge unless we have enough experiencial support behind it. It is especially tough when we have experiential knowledge against the cognitive knowledge.

For example, if someone tells us we are loved beyond our imaginations, unconditionally. If our experience continues to teaches us distrust, anger, sorrow, regret, guilt, and disloyalty from "friends" or family, we'll be shy to accept in reality what we affirm as a logical truth.

one of the reasons people are changed when they work internationally, whetehr for a week or for many years, is that they finally experience in practice what they have been cognitivelt taught about for years. They are intentional in all their movements. This dichotomy between experiential and cognitive/logical knowledge is never so great as in America. Consequently, this has drastic effects on our work and loves....especially our joy and hopes for healing.

Be chalenge this week and year to find those truths that you affirm verbally, as theoretically/cognitive true, BUT you know you lack the experiential knowledge..that Personal experience. Try to seek to engage such Truth as experience, not simply as information.

The world's greatest man once said both I speak truth and I am truth.

This Summer

We'll be coming home this summer to visit all of you. Brad will be in Massachusetts for 2 weeks, while taking a course at Gordon-Conwell, in July. From the end of June until tnearly he end of August, we'll otherwise be in Texas. We hope to visit with most of you if possible. Please don't be shy to contact us. We'll be depending on our friends call us as well with your schedules. While we will be busy visiting everyone, we'll be loving it and would be sad to miss visiting with you. Since we know we can't contact everyone, please contact us.

Please keep us in your thoughts in a few respects. First, we'll have the opportunity to speak to various groups about our work. We desire wisdom, clarity, and power of speech. Second, it will be quite a culture shock moving from China to suburban America. Nuff said. Third, we want to maximize time with family and friends. Fourth, we want to mature in our character as we love others and receive love from those we get to see.

Thanks again for your support.

Lack of Blogs, Visit by Friends, and Miscarriage

Please excuse our inconsistent blogging. This semester we have truly overdone it. We found a way to visit a lot of students in a week's time...and well, we over did it. We have worn our self out a little too much. We can see it in our bodies and poor Selah has been wanting more of our attention. We've tried to reconnect with life the past two weeks.

Last week, some of our very best friends came to see us here. It was one of the greatest weeks we've ever experienced. They were so encouraging and it was such a joy to see so much beauty and truth revealed to them and through them to us and others. We showed them our daily life and tookthem around Beijing a little bit.

Unfortunately, it was one of the most difficult weeks as well. After finding out that Carrie was pregnant, Carrie then had a miscarraige while our friends were here. That's been pretty emotionally taxing, so we have really taken it easy this past week. It was divinely appointed to have our friends here, as faithful partners. It was especially wonderful in the respect that the wife of the couple visiting us is a doctor, so she was there to offer us good undertanding of all that was happening.

Anyway, that's a very quick update. Continue to lift us up, that we may be strengthened and discernful in the coming days. Thanks.