East meets West in the Birthing Room

Since we've been in China, one of the aspects of culture that continues to baffle me is their ideas regarding pregnancy and birth. I met with a friend, Alice, the other day who is a typical Chinese, but can have some progressive thinking. In my conversation with her, I was reminded at the enormous chasm that is placed between the East and the West. Here are a few things they hold to-strictly-when pregnant and having children:

1. Pregnant women shouldn't be outside.
2. After givng birth, the woman isn't to move for 30 days. Literally. That means no reading, taking a shower, brushing teeth, watching tv....nothing. You just lay there and look at the baby.
3. You shouldn't take pictures of the baby before 30 days after the birth.
4. Nobody should be in the delivery room with you to help. It shows weakness.
5. The mother and mother in law will live with you until it is fit they leave.

These are just 5 of the long list of differences. I've tried convincing her that moving these are just traditions and not all medically founded. It didn't matter. This is the way Chinese do it and that's that.

She still refers to her pregnancy as a 'condition' and is not at all excited about being a mom. Parenting is a burden that gets in the way here, but it is essential because the child pays your social security when you get older. Unfortunately her view on parenting is very common and heartbreaking everytime I encounter it's manifestation. She's a dear friend and I'm hoping to guide her through learning to love and care and find joy in this child.